When Friends Grow Apart

A young lady confided to me that she had, “growing pains”. It seems that someone she’d gone to high school and college with; a young lady who went overboard in helping her with her wedding plans, were now, showing some major, ‘Attitude’ toward her and she didn’t expect it.

After listening to this preplexed conversation. I asked if, perhaps, this friend of hers might not have gotten some biased information from someone in their circle who might have a reason to cause ill feelings between the two of them? The young lady answered in hindsight that maybe they both could have been receiving whispers in the form of a he said/she said/ situaton. 

My advice, if taken, was for her to consider if this friendship was worth saving…if so, then, why not become the bigger person/woman and call her friend … ask to meet for a face to face for the sake of clarity? Sometimes, friendships that have survived the tests of sista dramas, petty jealousies, hurt feelings and closed silences can be reworked and turned from, ‘toxic’ to ‘thriving’ friendships. 

When this young lady revealed what her parents reactions were to her dilemma, I thought that sometimes older folks let their emotions get the better of their judgements when it comes to their children happiness. My advice for these types of parents is to try to be objective in these situations. But, if you must speak to your young adult son/dtr, be gentle when voicing your opinion about your child’s friendships…

clara.

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